Heaven has not had a huge appeal for me. What I mean by that is that I dont actually seek out a reward for becoming a more decent or kinder person now. I don't mean to be ungrateful either, but living life with a constant eye on what happens after doesn't work for me. Yes, it's reassuring, and as I get closer to the end of my life, it will doubtless loom much larger than now. Despite its difficulties and unpredictability, there is something terribly fascinating at being alive here, at this time and in this place, right now. Circumstances mean that some days I am sad and lonely, missing my family as I do. It's not a pain I would wish on anyone.

But today I found a quotation by Meister Eckhardt, the Christian mystic, which gave me a very agreeable context for my feelings about this life and the one to come. Oft-quoted, it goes:

"God is at home; we are in the far country."

Understanding heaven as a journey home is a lovely image, and we don't need to see our life here as being superfluous , alien or as a waiting room. The far country is not our home, but it is real place with with real life to be lived. The journey image allows us to see a process, not necessarily linear, in which home is the destination. But clearly, there are other stops on the way and they require our full, here and now attention.

None of this detracts from the importance and joy of being one day with God. But it behooves us to engage with where we are now, with purpose, compassion and courage. Never to avoid.

Funny what the passing of day can make. Today was such a different day to the last one I blogged. What was different? I worked at Anglicare - singing in the cafe this morning and interviewing upstairs in the afternoon. I met my supervisors lovely son and rehearsed another song with a coworker. I had a swim as the sky darkened above and rain slowly began to drizzle on car windscreens. All that was good.

Better still, I connected more honestly with God, coming before him with a contrite spirit, knowing where the real cause of suffering lies, understanding how I have to be. And what a blessing that is.