a concert for gracie

I mentioned a post or two ago that a little girl in our local commmunity, Gracie, is seriously ill with a brain tumour. People have responded generously and we are having a benefit concert for her family and her on December 10th. She won't be there but a willing spirit of compassion will be assembled to support her. The poster above gives the details, if you should happen to be in this part of the world on that night.

out of context

And immediately
Rather than words comes the thought of high windows:
The sun-comprehending glass,
And beyond it, the deep blue air, that shows
Nothing, and is nowhere, and is endless.


I get a lot of questions from Tom about death. I don't have any pat answers, though I am compelled at times, by the insistence of his interrogation, to bring God in. I don't mind doing that, having a predilection that way, but I'd rather he found out for himself.

Other times, I wish I could quote this short extract from Larkin's High Windows. It isn't what the poem is about. Not at all. It's just how I feel.

against excess #1

I was surprised a few weeks ago when an academic friend and feminist responded to a note I had written in opposition to pornography. I had simply pointed out that the internet and the runaway mainstreaming of porn was likely to be more harmful than good, especially for young people with little or no experience of sex. If this was their portal to sex, then trouble was brewing. She said that porn was an issue of freedom of expression, that any censorship of the net was an attack upon choice and that people had the right to look or click off elsewhere. That, I suppose summarizes what might be a libertarian view.

There is a lot to be said for freedom of expression. Generally speaking, its a good thing, though I fail to see how the untrammelled publishing of porn has anything to do with it. No I'm not fond of censorship but understand that in a cohesive society, not everything is available to everyone all the time. Nor should it be. As for the 'off-switch' debate, sure, people can decide. But can children? When did you last meet a teenager with such discernment? What are impressionable, developing minds to make of material that 30 years ago would have landed the disseminator in court?

Porn pushes the boundaries of society in ways that are hard to predict the consequences of. Porn addiction is already clinically documented. Porn has been directly implicated (through testimony)in crimes from child abuse to rape to murder. It doesn't take a feminist scholar to understand that a huge percentage of internet porn is anti-woman. As one porn actor said 'They are just faceless holes to fuck.' The depersonalisation of woman in what are increasingly normalised sexual contexts augers poorly for the psycho-sexual health of young men and women.

Porn, of course, has always been around in one form or another. It's just that it used to be hard to find. Or you needed to be in a position of influence. Or have money. Now its everywhere, and its for everyone.

And that's sad.

for mercy's sake

When little ones are life-threateningly ill, then everything else is put into perspective, and what seemed irritating, important or of-the-moment, assumes its rightful, insignificant place. The same is true of many events, though most of them pertain to the question of mortality. When someone in their 80's or 90's passes away, then it's sad, to be sure, but we have our own way of normalising it. They have 'had a good innings' or got to 'a ripe old age.' It was 'time to go.'

When the ailing one is only 4 years old, then there is no such normalising defence. They are just starting their life - dependent, developing, hardly out of nappies yet. It is a life at the brink of living it. There is nothing to say that is consoling. Every parent surely knows this fear. Nobody wants to outlive their child, certainly not by decades.

Little Gracie is sick with a brain tumour. It is inoperable. This week she starts radiography in the hope of shrinking it. Fortunately the local community has rallied. A benefit is planned. People are offering help. It is the least we can do when there is nothing that can be said. Nothing that makes any sense, that is.

And nightly I pray, for though I don't know God's mind on the matter, I know that He hears me.

Counselling update

In February this year, I decided to enroll in a distance counselling course with AIPC. While I have always enjoyed being in a helping situation, the thought of training as a counsellor was still a bit of a leap of faith for me. But it was one which I took up nevertheless.

Since that time I have been ploughing through online units of work on areas as diverse as psycho-analysis (which I won't be practicing) and counselling ethics (which I will be paying close attention to). I have really enjoyed the challenge so far, not least because the process of becoming a counsellor entails considerable self-reflection and self-directed change, something I hope that my clients one day embrace.

The course also mandates a number of formal practical assessment days where students get the chance to practice and be assessed on the skills they have thus learnt, in front of an experienced counsellor or psychologist. Last week was my fourth such day (Counselling Therapies 1) and over two days we covered the introductory practicalities of Person-Centred, Gestalt and Behavioural Therapy. That's a big ask for any group of novices but it went off well and the learning experience itself was enough to make the trip to Parramatta worthwhile.

I really am enjoying this journey. If I get to practice one day, then I will have something else to be grateful for.