Gosh. This has not been an auspicious year for blogging. To be honest, I just haven't felt like it. In between sadness and trying to find my way in the new world, I haven't had the creative energy for writing.

Yes, I wrote a dozen or so letters to Nadia in the first six months of our separation, when I thought that there was still a faint hope of reconciliation. After that my correspondence, outside of record-keeping and note-taking at Anglicare, has been messaging through Facebook, email, and mobile phone. Pathetic really. Admittedly, my SMS keyboard skills have come along so that ten words now take about five minutes rather than an hour or two.

So I will try to kick-start this unread blog, which remains, as it begun, just a place to write things down when I have the inclination. I am getting used to being separated, though the journey through grief and loss is complicated and never linear. Just when you feel strong and independent, along comes a song that reduces you to tears. And you're right back there again. Getting back up is easier though with every setback, thankfully.

Tomorrow I am interviewing for a real paying job in the welfare sector. I'm chuffed just to get the interview and will be dancing crazily if I land the job. I am very happy at Anglicare, a place I have grown to love and admire, for the fabulous work it does. I'm wondering what God wants me to do. I know that I have to keep stepping forward, stepping up.

I promise I'll write more here. Even now, I feel my fingers growing stronger, a yearning for the tap-tapping of the keys; the sweep of the cursor from blank to text. I like that.