Life seems a curious ocean of peaks and troughs at the moment. The times I am happiest or most confident coincide almost exactly with the times when I am in the company of others, whether it be at work, or choir or church. The times I am least happy are when I am alone or have experiences that bring to mind the recent past, what I seem to have lost, or those which cast the future in a dimmer light. Fortunately the latter are becoming less frequent with the passing of time. On the other hand, the veneer of confidence is just that, easily exposed by people or events that are often visceral reminders of what really is still quite fresh in my memory and experience.

No we are not at the mercy of random phenomena, nor proverbial corks bobbing on the restless, foaming sea of destiny. It may seem that way to some, even to me at times. I don't need to display a t-shirt with a fatalistic message( though many of my t's have odd inscriptions) and yes, I do see meaning in my life. Sometimes hitting rock bottom is the only way of seeing the way up and that has been my experience. In which journey I have a merciful, loving God to thank.