The last few weeks have had their distinct ups and downs. I have been in and out of doctor's surgeries and had random tests. There is nothing organically wrong with me as far as anyone can tell. My suspicion is that my anxiety has increased and produced a number of unpleasant emotional states and physiological phenomena. It is wondrous to behold the many ways that the mind can create time bombs and roadblocks for the body.

Xiaoyu and I continue to exchange daily emails. Hers are necessarily short (her English is rudimentary and she is writing from internet cafes) and mine tend to be simple renderings of the day's events. This is where we are at the moment, heading towards something purposeful, slowly. That's fine by me though I wish we could chat on QQ. She seems reluctant to buy a laptop but I think that maybe she is just very short of time.

I have a completely open mind about marrying Xiaoyu. I have no problems meeting women I like and this raises all sorts of issues for me. But I continue to hope that steady progress towards Xiaoyu and I knowing each other better remains my best course of action.

There is a beautiful, almost surreal light being thrown on the pine trees across the road from my house. The sun is about to drop below the ridge and its getting colder.

Our planet is magnificent.