I had a good weekend. I spent my 56th birthday with my mum in Dee Why. These days she is increasingly frail and even though her mind is still nimble, she has a number of debilitating ailments. Still, we sauntered down to the Italian restaurant on the beachfront, ordering some excellent pizza. The sun was out and even though a coolish south-easterly was blowing, shorts and bikinis were uniformly present. A body of surfers sat on the uneven swell, a few swimmers chancing the waves. It was a high tide and the water had the appearance of blended eggplant and spinach. Over lunch, I recalled the times I used to come surfing with my then girlfriend, Michelle, in winter, just across from the restaurant. We would slide into our steamers and look without joy into the cold grey surf. I did it for her really, but it was still exhilarating.

Later I spent a few hours on the sofa listening to my mum reflect on aspects of her life, which I know, at times, has been disappointing for her. Back in the day, women didn't have the same choices they do now, so if you got stuck in a bad marriage, that's more or less where you stayed. It is hard for a woman of 85 to find decent male companionship, or so I'm told. The pickings are few and then, very flawed. So my mum has to endure men who claim to know more than her, or who know it all or who invalidate her experience. Just like 'back in the day.'

On Sunday I whiled the afternoon with my friend Yolly, whom I hadn't seen in a few weeks. Yolly is a smart medical professional from Shanghai. She will likely be stuck in a lower grade aged care job because of her limited English. Personally I think her English is great and her company, delightful.

So, two afternoons of gentle conversation. Nothing quite beats that.