I had thought that The Abbott, which sustained self-inflicted torpedo strikes and rows of own-brand depth charges, had sunk without trace to the murky depths of the conservative fantasy ocean. Alas, I find a survivor who, having clearly swallowed gallons of sea-water before his rescue, is talking madly to the national press. This same survivor, amid wild claims that he does not want to be the captain again, continues to harangue any who are willing to pay heed to his unhinged prating. For, to borrow a well-used analogy, though he stoppeth one in three to tell his tale, surely two will flee in panic.