Yesterday Ann told me that she had had computer problems. Her PC was stuck on a white screen when booted up, with an endlessly spinning ball the only sign of a pulse within. I hadn't heard of the white screen problem before but upon investigation, found that it was amongst those that had a deadly classification. I mean, it was one of those that carried the moniker, screen of death. There are, apparently, white and blue screens of death and perhaps even a black one, though there does not appear to be a hierarchy of death-dealing amongst them.

What was even more interesting was her solution. Dusting. She claims that a Thai language site she went to suggested dusting parts of the computer and to this end she removed some screws and commenced cleaning inside. I am guessing from her description that this meant removing the battery pack and perhaps the lid of the RAM storage unit, but in any event, whatever she did worked and her PC was restored to rude good health. I can find no such advice at any English language site, where the preferred solution is no less terrifying, to wit, booting up in safe mode and carrying out all manner of complex operations. I have done things like this before, but I have always felt like a man with no medical qualifications operating on a hapless patient.

I was never one for tinkering under the bonnet, though once a friend and I pulled parts from the motor of a wrecked Ford Cortina. I remember wondering at the time how we might put them back again if we had to. The car was going for scrap, so we never did. My friend became a mechanic, I became an English teacher. Together, we could probably just about have read the repair manual.